Ilford Island Heat
"Caribbean takeaway owner Marlene serves the best curry goat in Ilford, but when food inspector Dean arrives, she serves him something much more appetizing than what's on the menu."
Dean hated these inspections. Small takeaways always made him the villain.
But Marlene was different. She welcomed him, thick and proud, her tiny Ilford shop gleaming.
"Check everything yuh want," she said. "Mi have nothing to hide."
"I can see that." He meant the kitchen. His eyes said otherwise.
The inspection was perfect. Spotless. Dean lingered anyway.
"Yuh want to taste something?" she asked. "Only fair after yuh inspect mi whole life."
"You're not worried about bribery?"
"Is not bribery. Is hospitality." She handed him curry goat. "Different things."
The curry was life-changing. So was the way she watched him eat.
"Good?" she asked.
"Incredible."
"Come back. Off duty. Mi cook yuh something special."
"Is that appropriate?"
"No." She smiled. "But mi not known for appropriate."
Something special was her flat above the shop. Her body even more appetizing than her food.
"Yes! Dean! Right there!"
Flavors and textures he'd never experienced. Spice that built slow and burned forever.
"Don't stop! Yuh eating well tonight!"
He failed to find violations on his return inspections. Because there were none.
But he found reasons to come back anyway.
"Yuh my favorite inspector," she laughed.
"You're my favorite everything."
Dean switched departments. Started teaching food safety instead.
Married Marlene in her shop, surrounded by the food that brought them together.
Ilford island heat.
Five stars.
In every way.